I’m an honest person. Some would say to a fault. This post is coming out of my honesty, because what I have to say is extremely SOUND advice. I’ll get to why this is hypocritical of me later.
I’ve frequently told people don’t ask me what you don’t want to know. Because I assume if you’re asking me, you want the truth from me, and therefore I say it. And I tend to lean towards the blunt end of the spectrum because emotions and feelings are not usually in the forefront of my mind.
This also holds true to advice coming from me. If you ask me to provide advice to you in a given area I will. But you need to know that I’m very analytical and fairly logical. So I break the situation down into its components and then construct what I see as a possible solution to the situation. This does not always go over very well, but it’s how my mind works.
I believe that if you asked those closest to me, who also happen to be those who ask for my advice the most frequent, you will find that my advice is usually very sound. It may not be what you want to hear at a particular time, but it tends to lead to the results you’re looking for.
So today on the way home from church Skye and I were talking. Without going into details, there were A LOT of medical complications with the delivery of our son which have lead to life-long negative side affects for her. And on the way home Skye said something that lead me to respond to here with some very sound, very hypocritical advice.
Skye said that due to the issues encountered with the delivery of our first son she’s very scared about having more children (side note, I understand AS MUCH AS IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A MAN to understand what she’s going through b/c I was there EVERY STEP OF THE WAY caring for her during this time). And I instantly replied, “Skye, you can’t let fear of the future control your present decision making.”
And I believe it. None of us can know the future for certainty. Yes, we can take certain steps and actions that will increase the likelihood of certain outcomes, but we still do not know for a FACT what is yet to come.
Too many of us approach the future with more fear than courage. More reservation than boldness. More dread than wonder.
After I replied the way I did to Skye I instantly started laughing and patted her on the leg, while she looked at me and said with a loving, but in a very heart felt way, “Why don’t you listen to YOURSELF for once?”
Because I DON’T approach the future with courage, boldness, and wonder. I typically use my analytical, logical mind to map out THE WORST POSSIBLE ALTERNATIVES in my OWN life. For others, I tend to map out what I see as REALISTICALLY happening. So if you have not done the leg work or preparation to achieve the desired results I’ll tell you I think you’ll fail. But if you have done the leg work and preparation then I’ll work through how you’ll likely succeed.
But for myself, regardless of what I’ve done, I’m more likely to allow the fear of future POSSIBILITIES to dictate my future.
I honestly pray that all of us, you and me included, realize that there is a better way to approach the future than to allow fear of negative future possibilities to dictate our action, and that is to approach it with courage, boldness, and wonder.