Who you surround yourself with matters

I have learned through the years that who you surround yourself with matters. Are you surrounding yourself with people that have similar hopes, goals, and dreams or are you surrounding yourself with people who attempt to squash your dreams for the future?

There have been a few different times in my life where I realized that the people I had been surrounding myself with did not have the same plans for the future. And by this, I don’t mean that we both wanted EXACTLY the same thing, but that our goals in life seemed to be polar opposites.

For instance I have had friends who wanted to spend all of their free time drinking, doing drugs, and chasing women, while I was not drinking at that time, doing drugs, and I wanted to chase the RIGHT woman.

At other times I have had friends who wanted nothing more than to obtain a “secure” job where their chances of being fired or laid off were “zero”, while I wanted to find a way to start my own business and make my own future so my working life would not be determined by the mindset of some highly stressed boss.

I’ve also had a group of friends that if at any time someone had a dream, a goal, or a plan to improve themselves this group would do its best to tear them apart in the guise of “helping them see how things really were”.

I have come to realize that it is best to surround yourself with people that are generally aiming in the same direction as you. So if you’re trying to start a business, look for others with the same goal. If you’re trying to grow closer to God, find a small group in your church with the same purpose. If you’re doing your best to have a loving and supportive family life at home, find other families that you believe are setting a good example and get involved with them.

On any of our adventures in life there will be plenty of speed bumps, pot holes, and breakdowns. However, we can help make sure we reach our final destination by surrounding ourselves with friends who have the same goals as ours.


About Ivan Bickett

I want to help people see that there is a better way to conduct business and life. If I can help, let me know.
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2 Responses to Who you surround yourself with matters

  1. Kristy says:

    As simple as the idea sounds, surrounding yourself with others who have the same goals, isn’t so easy. Finding yourself pulled down by those around you who either smash your dreams or try to crush your spirit with their negative or cynical attitudes happens to all of us at sometime or another. My biggest problem was keeping really negative friends around just because they’d been around for so long. It didn’t matter they were constantly putting down my creative ideas, or making me feel like I was qualified in some way or another to reach my long term goals . I think having friends that will help motivate you and give feedback to your ideas is just as important as ones with the same goals. You need those people you can call on when you need to hear encouragement or voice an idea you aren’t so sure about.
    Since leaving those “non” friends behind, I’ve started working toward my goal of painting and writing more. I signed up for my first small group at church last week and hope to meet other women who want to learn and grow with God as much as I do. If you guys are still looking for a small group, our church just started sign ups. http://www.graystonechurch.com/small-group-sign-up

    • Ivan Bickett says:

      Kristy, THAT is exactly what I’m talking about in this post.

      We’ve known each other for more than a decade. During that time, how many times did I intentionally surround myself with people who would TEAR ME A PART? Frequently! My dreams, my ideas, my ambitions would all be trashed by others. Some folks look at someone trying to “change their stars” (from a Knights Tale) and resent that. And then do their best to stop it. Some try to stop you by “providing friendly advice”. They’ll give you 100 reasons why NONE of your ideas will work.

      And that’s the thing. I’ve probably already thought of 1,000 reasons why my ideas won’t work. I need someone who will help me see why my ideas WILL work.

      Fortunately, we’ve both traveled far enough in life to realize we don’t need all the “nega-bots” (thank you, David Siteman Garland for that term) in our lives. We’re better off without them.

      But you’re 100% right. It’s HARD to find supportive, creative, heading-in-the-same-direction people to surround yourself with. Thank God, literally, for http://freeagentacademy.com/. This is an online community of people all striving or already achieving their dream of self employment.

      Check it out if you have a minute. It’s great!

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